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Cows explain the world

This is an old one, but I like the way it has been updated…

Socialism
You have 2 cows
You give one to your neighbour

Communism
You have 2 cows
The state takes both and gives you some milk

Fascism
You have 2 cows
The state takes both and sells you some milk

Bureaucratism
You have 2 cows
The state takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away

Traditional Capitalism
You have 2 cows
You sell 1 and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows You sell them and retire on the income.

Private Equity Capitalism
You have 2 cows
You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, and then execute a debt/equality swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax exemption for 5 cows.
The milk rights of the 6 cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all 7 cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns 8 cows with an option on 1 more.

An Indian Corporation
You have 2 cows
You worship them

A French Corporation
You have 2 cows
You go on strike, organise a riot and block the roads because you want 3 cows

A Swiss Corporation
You have 5,000 cows
None of them belong to you, you charge the owners for storing them

A Greek Corporation
You have 2 cows borrowed from French and German Banks. You eat both of them. The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver and call the IMF. The IMF loans you 2 cows. You eat both of them. The banks and the IMF call to collect their milk. You are out getting a haircut

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  1. Cows explain the world linked to this post on October 21, 2013

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